'Twas the night before Christmas

I received an email recently in which a reader pointed out to me that I hadn't updated my website for 18 months. 'Has it really been that long?' I wondered, but indeed it had. Just as well I had a new story to post then.

'The Night Shift' was finished a little while ago, but has been stuck in the editing phase for a time (yes, I now have an editor-cum-in-house-critic, so hopefully no more typos!). As I actually have some time off (2 1/2 days, get in!) and a functioning internet connection over Christmas, this seemed like a good opportunity to update the site at last.

In another development, shewhowrites.net should be up and running in a few days, initially as a mirror site, but hopefully in the long term I can move all the content across. I wanted shewhowrites.com, but this seems to have been taken by a generic directory service somewhere in Chicago, run by someone with only a tenuous grasp of grammar ;)

My other story should make in into editing soon, so I don't anticipate another 18 months wait, although commuting weekly between East Sussex and Bath doesn't make it easy to fit in serious time for writing. I'm working on it though.

Finially, I must take the opportunity to wish all of my readers a very Merry Christmas and all the best for 2007. I hope you will all have fun seeing in the New Year. Me? I'll be up a mountain in France, drinking champagne in the only snow in Europe. It's a hard life!

SWW x

Times are a-changing..

Goodness me, things have picked up since March. It always surprises me, how life can do a complete 180 degrees on you in no time at all.

As I write now, I stand on the cusp of the realisation of my professional dreams and the culmination of 10 years work (so now you know why no new stories for a while! Don't worry, I have a month off coming up..). And, simultaneously, life behind the scenes has got me smiling again, somewhat unexpectedly. But that's another story.

I've been thinking lately about about the nature of writing erotica, and where it all comes from. One of the questions I get asked most often by readers is 'is it all true?' I suppose the answer depends on your definition of 'true'. Am I Rebecca, or Jenny, or Helen, or Sarah? The answer is, ultimately, an ambiguous one. It's difficult to write (for me) without applying my own perspective to things, the usual 'what would I do?' conundrum. Yet at the same time, this is a medium that allows the author to apply ideals, or mindsets that perhaps they would never use in real life (but might like to), to a situation that they might never find themselves in (but might like to). I've never seduced a straight tutor, or suddenly realised that my best friend is the woman of my dreams. I try to keep what I write as real as possible, in the hope of my readers being able to relate to the protagonists, but on the other hand maintaining a level of fantasy to keep people (including myself) interested.

As for the obvious end-points - some of it is directly from experience, some less so. Keeping people guessing is part of the fun!

On another note, I see the first 'divorce' from the Civil Partnerships Bill is going through. Hands up, who had May/June?

Hope you are all well,
SWW x

Breaking up is hard to do..

My girlfriend of 2 years decided a fortnight ago that she didn't want to be in the relationship any more. I, of course, didn't see this coming and believed that everything was going brilliantly. How did this happen?

I hoped that by now (okay, two weeks is not a lot of time, but it is some time) I'd have something vaguely intelligent to say on the subject, but I'm not sure I do really. What has happened is that I've been reflecting on the nature of relationships, and whether or not we ever really know what another person might be thinking. Do we willfully bury our head in the sand, ignoring bad signs because they don't fit into our pre-conceived notion of how things should be ("can't.. quite.. compute.. ignore.").

Or is that just me?

It's quite something to be told by the person who matters to you above all others that she doesn't feel she can talk to you any more, and, worse, that she isn't happy. I hate the feeling of letting someone down at the best of times, but when it's her... I find myself questioning and re-examining everything from the last couple of years, trying to see what I missed - and so far I have largely drawn a blank. Sure, I can see where I might have gone wrong... but no indication, really, that this was coming.

It's funny how we cling to words in times like these. My word of the moment is 'blindsided'. The analogy I keep thinking of (perhaps one for the American readers, this!) is being the quarterback who's looking one way, about to unleash the killer pass, and doesn't see the linebacker coming from the other side about to flatten him.

But anyway, regardless of whether or not I had warning, this HAS happened and so life must go on. And on a superficial level, of course, it does. It wouldn't do to stop getting out of bed in the morning. But, just for now, the fun seems to have been taken out of things, and every thought and action is underpinned with what has been lost. Is there a person (above 16) alive who doesn't know these clouds?

It's a strange sort of blackness - one that I know, rationally, is transient, yet I almost don't want to be over it because that would imply letting go of the feelings and attachment I've spent two years building up. And so, while I know the future is there and will, ultimately, be okay (probably), I can't quite see how. And it's a blackness for which words seem woefully inadequate. Even 'blindsided'.

What is my purpose in writing this here? After all, I never wanted my 'blog' to turn into a diary of my life or a record of all my feelings. Yet, at the moment I don't really have the drive to write stories (which is a little frustrating as there are two which are each a couple of parapgraphs away from completion!), but yet there is still the need to get something down.

There's always an upside... I did buy a new car. We all have our crutches... ;)

Home again

Since I last wrote, I really have been around the world. This was a long-planned trip, part of my career rather than a pure holiday, but has certainly inspired me. I took in parts of Australia, New Zealand's beautiful South Island, and Rarotonga in the South Pacific. Such amazing places, and I can't help but think they may yet serve as settings for future writing. Who knows...? Mrs SWW was with me for a chunk of the trip and took about 1000 pictures, so there's no chance of forgetting.

Now I'm back in the UK, and having moved house I'm more or less settled for now, though there will be a certain amount of uprooting between now and next summer. With all this going on, I haven't done any writing since I got back, although I am desperate to finally finish off 'Faith'. It's so nearly there, and I have a few ideas for stories to follow that - the creative juices are still flowing!

I have to thank my readers for the positive feedback I received for 'Champagne and Medics' - it seems people really relate to Rebecca and her 'adventures', which is great. As I've written before, I'm not finished with her just yet.

As I write, here in the UK, the Civil Partnerships Act is just a month or so away from coming into force, and gay/lesbian couples everywhere can finally register and enjoy the rights and responsibilities perviously only granted to married couples. While having no plans to enter into this myself, not for a while, I wonder how much uptake there really will be. The change in the law is very welcome indeed, although I think it will be interesting to see what, in the long term, this does to the dynamic of gay/lesbian relationships. Previously we had no obvious 'end-point' to the process of courtship, beyond moving in together and, in a few cases, having children. As such, relationships developed at their own pace, with no social pressures to 'get up the aisle'. We played it by ear and improvised. Will we now see such relationships become more, for want of a better word, straight? Dating, becoming serious, move-in/propose, propose/move-in, 'wed', plus/minus children? Divorce? I think it will be fascinating to see what happens next.

Before I sign off for now, a quick word of congratulations - to outstanding lesbian novellist C. C. Saint-Clair who took 2nd place in the Rhode Island Film Festival for her screenplay to her novel 'Far From Maddy'. It couldn't have happened to a nicer lady (and I hope you get a producer soon)! To those of you who are yet to discover her work, I urge you to do so - there's a link on my main website.

Cheerio for now,
SWW xx

Events in London today

Got a couple of e-mails asking about this, so I thought I'd post on here in light of the explosions in London this morning, where several readers have gathered that I live. I was out of town today, and thankfully I don't know anyone who was caught up in it all.

I just wanted to express my disgust at such events and also say that I have huge sympathy for anyone who has been affected. I hope all my readers are ok.

SWW xx

Now there's a thought

I really dislike the concept of blogging. To me it seems like a highly egotistical way of saying 'look at me, look how messed up my life is and how CRAZY I am!" So why on Earth am I going against myself and starting one here?

Well, it's a bit different, this way, I reckon. See, there are two me's - the everyday ME who goes to work and gets on with life in a usual, ho-hum, kinda way. And then there's the other me - SheWhoWrites. Although we word things in a similar way, etc, really the two me's don't cross. And so, this blog isn't a way of trying to draw attention to myself and all my woes, as it isn't ME, per se, but rather SWW.

For anyone who has stumbled across this by accident and is now confused, have a look at www.geocities.com/shewhowrites. If you're over 18! And not too easily offended. (And no, you won't see any boobs.)

Anyhow, having reconciled this with my dislike of blogging, generally, what is the purpose? Well, I haven't updated my website for, ooh, ages, and I do get the odd email wondering if I still write etc. So, really, I wanted to have a way of putting things out without necessarily having to have a complete story! The last year or so has been very very busy with things in 'real life', and I haven't really had much time to write anything.

Presently, I have a couple of stories on the verge of completion. The first is called 'Faith', which is actually pretty close, and is the longest story I've written yet. It's set around vaguely rural Buckinghamshire, and is a fairly straightforward story but one that I hope people will relate to. The other is 'Champagne and Medics', which will be the third installment in the 'Medics' series, although it actually falls between the other two and explores a situation Rebecca gets herself into a while after her original break up with Kate. Again, it's actually not too far away from completion - it's just a question of finding the time to wrap it up.

Speaking of the 'Medics' series, I have a fourth installment on the drawing board, which will be much shorter and more for fun than necessarily adding anything to the overall story, but should nevertheless be worthwhile. More on that as I get there. As well as that, I did write a little essay a while ago about the background to the series, with a view to putting it on the site when 'Champagne' goes up. So that's something else waiting in the wings.

Anyway, that's quite enough for now. With regards to this blog, I don't intent to use it as a diary, but more to write things pertaining to SWW as and when I feel inspired to. Or - it's a way of (sort of) adding to the site without actually having to have an entire new story every time.

SWW x